Holy crap, the Mercedes-AMG G63 4×4 Squared. It’s twice the price of a standard G-Class, but also twice as cool. It’s a leather-and-suede-lined luxury tank with 577 hp, 627 lb-ft of torque, three locking differentials, portal axles, side pipes, all-terrain tires, a carbon-fiber light bar and one of the gnarliest rear bumpers I’ve ever seen. It has more ground clearance than a Ford Bronco Raptor and you can have it painted bright-ass neon green. Yes, it costs $350,050, including $1,050 for destination. But like, what the hell else even comes close? The G63 4×4 Squared is a rolling hyperbole.

It’a also a relatively simple updo. The Squared is essentially a taller, wider G63 jacked up on all-terrain tires, and the addition of portal axles increases the G-Class’ wading depth and just-drive-over-it ground clearance. Unlike the last-generation G550 Squared, Mercedes is now making this monster truck out of the AMG G63, which is totally the right move. The G63 outsells the G550 by a huge margin, especially here in the US, and its inherent absurdity is a good baseline for the 4×4 Squared.

Full disclosure: Mercedes-Benz dropped a G63 4×4 Squared off at my house with a full tank of gas and told me to keep it rubber-side down.

Taken as a whole, the G63 4×4 Squared is… well, it’s a lot of things. It’s funny. It’s ridiculous. It’s excessive. It’s perfect. Standing still, you can tell it just wants to drive over everything…